Yesterday was the first full day of summer (come through Summer Solstice!), but the countdown to winter is in full effect! Game of Thrones fans-The.Time.Is.Nigh. July 16th will be here in no time, and in light of HBO’s newest Game of Thrones season 7 trailer, I thought I’d take a little time to talk about 5 things I discovered (or rediscovered) during my #prepareforwinter/ #winterishere binge sessions.
- Arya is annoying. Ok, hear me out. I love Arya. But think back to season 3 when she has her run-in with the Brotherhood without Banners. She pops off at the mouth a little too much for my taste. Every scene is filled with teen angst, and her pigheadedness is at an all time high. In episode 2 of season 3 (“Dark Wings, Dark Words”), she has the audacity to pull Needle out and point it at Thoros of Myr in the middle of a lovely brunch. And he embarrasses her to no end by demonstrating his own swordsmanship. I mean, I get it. It’s not easy getting over your father’s beheading. But her mouth is a little too slick when talking to adults. (That’s probably the teacher in me talking though.)
- Loras Tyrell stayed On Ready. Don’t let the Knight of Flowers title fool you. In season 4 episode 2 (aka The Purple Wedding), Ser Loras delivers the best shade anyone has ever directed towards Jaime. The golden-haired Lannister assumes he can scare Loras out of marrying Cersei. But as I said, Loras stayed On Ready and responds to Jaime in kind:
Jaime: “If you were to marry Cersei, she’d murder you in your sleep. If you somehow manage to put a child in her first, she’d murder him too- long before it drew its first breath. Lucky for you, none of this will happen because you’ll never marry her.
Loras: (smiles) “And neither will you.”
Excuse me?! Loras let the choppa spray on Jaime with four words, a smile, and two pats on the arm. He reminds Jaime that his inappropriate sexual relationship with his twin sister is well known and nothing good can come from it. King Renly’s old boo pulls Jaime’s card, and Jaime is stuck on stupid for a full minute of screen time.
3. Roose Bolton is PETTYYY! Of course, he’s a traitor. (We all know that, due to his involvement in The Red Wedding.) But in my estimation, Roose goes to another level of pettiness in a scene with Walder Frey (Season 3 Episode 10 titled “Mhysa”).
Walder Frey’s old, decrepit ass makes a toast to the late Robb Stark (rest in fineness my King) saying: “ here’s to the Young Wolf, ARH-WOOOOOOOOOO!” And then here comes Roose chiming in: “forever young.” Really Roose!? You just betrayed your king, and now you’re laughing it up with the Crypt Keeper? It isn’t simply what Roose says, it’s how he says it- with a smugness that I just cannot forgive.
4. I miss Joffrey Baratheon. I said what I said! Joffrey was a little shit, but he was an entertaining little shit. I got a kick out of Joff throughout his entire run, but especially in season 3 episode 7 (“The Bear and the Maiden Fair”) when he attempts to man up to Tywin. The head Lannister seems to get increasingly larger as he walks up the throne room stairs towards his “king.” All the while Joffrey sinks into his seat, showing once again that he is the king, but he is most definitely not in charge. His facial expressions and
body language are hilarious as he tries to question Tywin about his inclusion in small council meetings. Lord Tywin is not having any of Joffrey’s fake tough guy act!
I noticed Joffrey often looked uncomfortable while sitting on the Iron Throne (i.e., when Barristan the Bold is fired and then quits- Joffrey is shook when old white beard tosses his sword towards him before exiting.)
But that narcissistic yet insecure attitude of Joffrey’s is precisely why I miss his character. He was evil but a goofy evil. Who else would choose to use his new crossbow toy to kill a prostitute? I concede that his stupidity, stubbornness, and immaturity were too much to watch the first time around. But rewatching the seasons, I enjoy him more and more (especially after putting up with Ramsey).
5. Daenerys. MUST. DIE. I did not need to re-watch the seasons to write this point. Danny is insufferable. I used to feel some type of affinity towards her earlier on. But in season 3 episode 10 (entitled “Mhysa”), the Dragon Queen starts to turn me off. Something changed. She goes from innocent child-bride, to dare I say–a colonizer. I’m not going to erase the decent things Danny is attempting to do here; she frees the slaves. But colonizers usually think they’re doing what’s best (even if they are ultimately harmful). And the optics of the last minute of the episode? My goodness! The imagery of these brown folks holding her up like some porcelain god, well, that disgusted me.
But this isn’t the only reason she must die. I can’t stand her pontificating. Even though at times she’s had some nice quotes:
Missandei: “Valar morghulis.”
Danny: “Yes. All men must die, but we are not men.”
That little saying was cute. But the “Break the Wheel” speech in season 5 episode 8 (titled “Hardhome”)? Chile, please. Danny is giving her all in this scene, and I simply can’t get over her arrogance.
Daenerys: I’m not going to stop the wheel; I’m going to break the wheel.
(cue dramatic music and Daenerys’s empty gaze)
I know the Danny-Hive thinks this little speech to be profound. But it irritates me that Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea actually believes she deserves to rule in a place in which she’s never been! Daenerys Storm-born, girl, do better.
That’s all for now! I’ve got a few more #prepareforWinter #winterishere discoveries to discuss before July 16th.
And plenty more Daenerys bashing.